The EVO2K Game Reveal: What You Absolutely Need to Know

By Unknown on Thursday, February 6, 2014 with 3 comments

LAS VEGAS -- As Evolution Champion Series (EVO2K), the world's largest and most profitable fighting game tournament, inches ever closer, hungry and impoverished gamers eagerly wait to learn the lineup of games which will be announced on iPlaywinner's podcast "The Fray". Once-a-year fighting game fans are sure to rejoice over the prospect of sync-watching a lineup of games they may have played once with a few friends while drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon.  The announcement, originally scheduled to take place on February 6th, was delayed by Joey "MrWizard" Cuellar after a tragic betting disaster involving the Denver Broncos and the subsequent McRib binge which left him digestively incapacitated. In light of this unexpected catastrophe, FGCNN's Strategy Team has contacted its most trusted sources to bring you the most comprehensive and probable list of games that you can expect to see at EVO2K this year.

INCLUDED: Killer Instinct
FGCNN analysts consider Killer Instinct a no-brainer. With Amazon's recent purchase of Double Helix, Microsoft will be desperate to maintain customer confidence in their new system's flagship fighting franchise, and with desperation comes prime opportunity for related event organizers to squeeze promotional capital from these deep-pocketed companies. Mad Catz's joystick department could also use help clearing their warehouses which are full of Killer Instinct Fight Sticks.

INCLUDED: Street Fighter X Tekken
This next game on the roster will certainly be Capcom's beloved Street Fighter X Tekken, which, despite its bad press and nonexistent tournament scene, will serve as a great vehicle to change Capcom's mind about leaving their game unplayable online for their PC audience. As a bonus, FGCNN notes that there are plenty of Street Fighter X Tekken Sticks that Mad Catz has available at a discount.

INCLUDED: Injustice: Gods Among Us
Past experience has shown that Netherrealm Studios have never shied away from shelling out the cash money for a prominent spot in EVO2K's lineup. Netherrealm Studios has also teamed up with Mad Catz to produce a tournament-caliber fighting joystick, which is available for purchase now. FGCNN admits that the entire staff fell asleep during the top 8 of last year's tournament, but also remarked their relief at the possibility of not seeing Superman mirrors.

With no free t-shirt to bait EVO2K entrants, FGCNN's data shows that KOF XIII's numbers are sure to collapse. Other studies show that players in the Asian region are reacting negatively to being super-free to Latin America and may not attend. Possible replacements include Soul Calibur V, which has a tournament joystick avaiable courtesy of our friends at Mad Catz.

INCLUDED: Super Smash Bros (any version)
The Fighting Game Community has continually voiced the concern that the Smash Brothers series is not a fighting game; however, given their strong showing at Apex and their incredible donation performance last year, the EVO2K staff would be wise to appease Nintendo in any way possible, despite Nintendo's past disdain for its own community and lack of a Mad Catz joystick.

WILDCARD: BlazBlue: Chrono Trigger
While not a complete shoe-in, FGCNN suggests that Square Enix's popularity in the Japanese Role-Playing Game realm maybe entice a brand new audience to attend and compete in EVO, and possibly purchase a BlazBlue joystick from the excess pile at Mad Catz's HQ. FGCNN's sources inform us that excess piles of BlazBlue joystick boxes at the Mad Catz warehouses look remarkably similar to piles of Walter White's cash in Breaking Bad.

How accurate are our staff's predictions? Can the FGC maintain it's hype amidst lack of new games? Will this Evolution Championship Series be the best yet? Will the Seahawks win the Super Bowl next year? Let us know in the comments!


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airconditioning said...
February 6, 2014 at 5:30 PM

ey yo Mr Wizard better be putting Aquapazza in that lineup if he knows what's good for him
I will be so sad if it's not there

Unknown said...
February 6, 2014 at 6:44 PM

Evo 2014 Smash bros champ, heard it here first.

ontherocks said...
February 20, 2014 at 7:00 PM

"Other studies show that players in the Asian region are reacting negatively to being super-free to Latin America and may not attend."