Mike Watson Self-Appointed Supreme Manchild as Triforce Resigns

By Unknown on Wednesday, December 24, 2014 with 5 comments

WALNUT, CA — Months after a massive coup which resulted in Triforce Johnson fleeing the country for his safety, Mike Watson has officially replaced Mr. Johnson as Supreme Manchild, a position which includes such duties as making the FGC look socially regressive and exploiting it for personal and financial gain.

While many are uncertain as to whether Mr. Watson can maintain the “leadership” that Mr. Johnson provided while in office, the consensus remains that, by participating in petty online arguments and purchasing expensive toilets on rented property, Mr. Watson is primed to tightly fill the sandy shoes of his predecessor.

“With [Mr. Johnson] gone, the community had nobody in which to direct our hatred” said BrolysThirdLeg, a professional r/kappa user. “People in the subreddit just spewed hatred to anyone who spoke. It was pure anarchy. But now with [Mike Watson] behaving with the class and intelligence of people literally half his age, the community can return to its days of glory!”

LEFT: A helpful matrix of leadership skills (click to enlarge)

Some critics think that Mr. Watson may not have what it takes to maintain the position. “If [Mike Watson] sticks to throwing decent tournaments and keeps his big mouth shut, he might be forced out of office.” remarked ChefBoyardee_BowlOfSoul, a fighting game community analyst and evangelical atheist.

Mr. Watson is expected to give a low-budget press conference later this week, but only if 10 people subscribe to his channel on Twitch.tv. When questioned for further details, Mr. Watson challenged FGCNN correspondents to a fist fizzzight in the Super Arcade parking lot.

What do you think? Will Mr. Watson deliver on his promise to provide the FGC with hours of entertainment through internet thuggery? Or will he be intimidated by screen captures of user's bank accounts? Let us know in the comments below!


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MetalMusicMan said...
December 30, 2014 at 5:17 PM

Thanks for returning, we missed you!

FiVEL B PEREZ said...
July 26, 2015 at 1:41 AM

oh man !!! come back

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